Socks. They are to me the most mysterious and enigmatic article of clothing one puts on each morning. Are they underdogs or do socks say more about a person’s personality than you would think? They protect your feet from sweat, painful blisters and dirt. There are some downsides to socks as well; uncomfortable when wet, stretched beyond recognition, and above all they are a source of embarrassment. To some.

Human beings are obsessed with symmetry. If we chop something in half and it’s identical – yet mirrored – on both sides we revel in its beauty. Look around you right now and try to find a dozen things that are not symmetrical when viewed from a certain angle. It’s not as easy as you would think.

But let’s face it. Symmetry is boring. You’ve seen one side of something and you already know it’s just going to be more of the same on the other side. Of course it’s useful for things that deal with gravity on a daily basis – which I suppose is everything. I guess if your head was four times bigger on the right than on the left that it could create some issues. Or if your wine glass were round on the left and square on the right that could create potential problems – but how cool would it look?

But tell me this. Why oh why does the sock on your right foot need to match the one on your left foot? It has absolutely no practical use, whereas two different shoes would mess with your balance and cause you to grow crooked – or in my case, even more crooked.

I grew up wearing two different socks. My mom said: ‘If you can’t be bothered to put them in the laundry together I can’t be bothered to put them back together either.‘ My sisters’ socks, my brother’s socks and my socks all just got mashed together into one big sock basket. And when you finished frantically looking for two identical socks you still had to frantically look for where you took your shoes off the other day. I still don’t keep my socks together (nor remember where I took my shoes off, and my apartment has just three rooms).

People laugh when they see my socks. They think it was an accident and that I hadn’t realised it until they pointed it out. Then I just – utterly unphased by their comment – say: ‘Yes, I know’. And then you get that look on their face that is just absolutely priceless. You can just see their brain saying to them: ‘critical error’.

Today I have on one pink sock with rainbow-coloured edges that comes up to my ankles and a black one with a big green edge of the same length. Symmetry is dead.